If I Die Young

Its been a year today, since she passed away. Abby wasn't in my class, she was years younger then me and although we had passed in the hall from time to time, neither one of us had any significant presence in each others lives. Well imagine my surprise when a few days after Thanksgiving everyone on Face book was talking about how she had recently been in an accident. I saw these posts right before I left my aunts to go to the airport and fly home. For some crazy reason I thought nothing of it until I got home and saw what was really going on. Everyone was saying things about how she had recently passed. I was so confused, but soon the truth was clear. Abby had been in a horrible ATV accident and was no longer in this world.

School was different that Monday. Somehow there was a hole in everything, like the sunshine was missing. It was weird how someone I didn't really know could cause such an immense difference in the atmosphere of the school. The funeral was Tuesday. Almost the entire school was there, there church was filled to the rafters and overfilling into a back room where the preachers words were said over a speaker. At least 20 or more girls from my school sat on the floor in front of the pews. I was one of those girls. I sat right in front of the family and diagonal from the coffin.

I will never forget that day. Just talking about it brings tears to my eyes. Hearing her family morn the loss of someone taken from this earth far to young will resonate in my mind forever. Her father "walked" her coffin up the isle because he never would get to at her wedding. Her godfather talking about this girl that I had never met, but wish that I had. They decided to play the song If I Die Young by the Band Perry at her funeral. To this day when ever I hear that song, it reminds me of her. Of hearing her older sisters raw jagged sobs as the song started to play.

It started to rain as the coffin was taken into the hearse. It seemed as though even the sky was weeping for a girl taken from a family that loved her far too soon. I didn't go to the burial. I had to get back to school, because I had missed so much that year. I wasn't even planning on going to the funeral because of my illnesses. But as soon as it was made clear that no one would be left at school, and all classes would be a study, I called my mom and asked her to give me and a few other girls rides.

A few days later, thinking of Abby I decided to listen to If I Die Young. And when I looked at the comments this is what I saw.

And on the bathroom wall at school someone scratched in ASN forever. For people who don't know ASN are her initials.

Abby loved to run, and on her birthday someone organized a first annual run. I have the shirt from it, and when ever I feel like I need inspiration. Seeing how many people morned the loss of this young girl made me realize how little impact I have had in my life. I've vowed to live my life in a better way for Abby. She would have done amazing things in this word, and although I can never measure up to her, I can try to make a difference. For Abby. Because only the good die young. And she was amazing.