David Sedaris Gave Me a Bar of Chocolate

I think everyone has read or heard David Sedaris. Maybe not knowingly but it is safe to assume that the majority of today's society has. And about 50% of them have been offended by him. Luckily my family is the other 50% and we all love his works. So when my mom saw he was going to be signing at our local book store she was like YES! and got some tickets. Sadly someone had to stay home with my baby sister, so one rainy December night about a week ago my dad and I stopped our test taking and test grading and went of to see America's Funny Man.

I have never seen the place so packed for an author talk in my life. Finding a seat was difficult, there must have been at least 200 people in there. But it was totally worth it. From the get go David had my father and I rocking back and forth in our seats laughing. His humor isn't for everyone. He had a bit about "making business" in ones hand, but it wasn't said so politically correct. I'd love to share more about it here but my blog is rated G and I don't want to be responsible for taking someones innocence.

After about an hour of crying and almost peeing ourselves with laughter, it was time for the book signing. Pretty much everyone stayed for it, and after one totally failed attempt in which the line went the wrong way, everyone got in a nice orderly singleish file line to wait. And wait we did. David likes to chat with his fans, and although it was pretty annoying, well everyone did have a book in their hand to pass the time.

After a good twenty minuets in line my father and I finally reached Mr. Sedaris. My dad went first, to get a book signed for my 84 year old grandfather, who we like to call Captain Dagger. He also showed a picture to Mr. Sedaris, which I promised I would not put on my blog how ever much I think y'all might enjoy it.

Then it was my turn. Earlier in the show, David had said that his book signing table was an "awesome free zone" and anyone that said it had to pay him a dollar. So naturally I thought to myself, challenge accepted and promptly borrowed a dollar from my father. So when he started to sign my book, I said "Your show was awesome" and handed him a dollar to which he replied "sweet" and stuck it in his pocket. Then he asked "How old are you?" I answered with my age, probably the youngest person there. He grabs his bag and starts rummaging through, saying how he likes to give things to the younger people that come out to his talks. If it hadn't been David Sedaris I would have been totally freaked out, but it was and I was honored. He offered me a choice between chocolate and a bottle of shampoo and like any self respecting woman I chose chocolate.

After handing me the chocolate he turned to my book and started to sign it. As he was I asked him what his advice was for young bloggers, seeing the candy cane pen laying besides him. His advice for young writers was to "always write with a candy cane pencil, because they are the hardest things to write with." Well obviously I can't really blog with a candy cane pencil. His sage words to me were to read and write every day. Then in my book he drew a caricature of me, as a snail, slowly inching towards the carrot of literary success.

A night like this isn't something I could have planned or put on my list. Had someone told me that tonight I would have received a bar of chocolate from David Sedaris, I would have asked them what they were smoking. But its funny how some of the little things we don't plan end up being the most memorable. And I got a bar of chocolate out of the deal. So it was a win win.